“She’s so nice, if you call her at 2 a.m., she’ll answer.”
Say what???? When I heard a physician say this, my first reaction wasn’t admiration—it was exhaustion. (And this person wasn’t on call.) Comments like these might sound flattering, but they’re a symptom of a much bigger problem: a healthcare system that glorifies self-sacrifice at the expense of our well-being.
This unspoken expectation—that we’ll always go the extra mile, even at 2 a.m.—is a toxic cycle. It’s the same system that tells us to preach balance and self-care to our patients while celebrating our ability to push through exhaustion. It thrives on our humanity—our kindness, our empathy, our dedication—but gives nothing back to replenish it.
The Cost of Always Being Available
Our humanity is our superpower. It’s why we’re so good at what we do. But the constant pressure to overextend ourselves takes a toll—mentally, physically, and emotionally. Here’s what that looks like:
- No boundaries. Being the one who’s “always available” might feel rewarding in the moment, but it sets an expectation that you’ll sacrifice your needs every time.
- Chronic exhaustion. Lack of sleep and unrelenting stress aren’t just productivity killers—they’re dangerous. They weaken our immune systems and compromise our ability to think clearly, putting both us and our patients at risk.
- Guilt-driven neglect. We’re so accustomed to prioritizing others that carving out time for ourselves feels wrong. But self-care isn’t selfish; it’s the foundation of everything we do.
The Hypocrisy We’re Trapped In
How many times have you told a patient, “You need to rest. You can’t pour from an empty cup”? And how many times have you ignored that advice yourself? The truth is, we’ve been conditioned to equate self-neglect with dedication. But that’s a lie the system perpetuates to keep us running on empty.
You can’t show up as your best self when you’re depleted. You can’t give high-quality care when you’re running on fumes. And you shouldn’t have to.
Let’s Flip the Script
Being a great nurse practitioner doesn’t mean being a martyr. It means showing up—fully present, energized, and clear-headed—to provide the best care possible. And that starts with taking care of ourselves. Here’s how we can begin:
- Set firm boundaries. Let’s normalize saying no and protecting our time off. Communicate your availability clearly and stick to it.
- Change the narrative. Being unavailable isn’t a failure—it’s a strength. It shows you respect your own limits and prioritize sustainable care.
- Find your community. Surround yourself with people who get it—other NPs who understand the challenges and can offer support, validation, and accountability.
- Make time for you. Whether it’s a workout, a nap, or just five minutes of quiet, prioritize what recharges you. Treat it like a non-negotiable appointment.
- Push for systemic change. Advocate for better staffing, reasonable workloads, and policies that support wellness. Real change happens when we speak up collectively.
A Healthier Future for Us All
We need to stop equating sacrifice with success. It’s time to create a new narrative—one where our humanity is celebrated, not exploited. A narrative where self-care is seen as essential, not optional.
When we prioritize our health, we’re not just protecting ourselves; we’re leading by example. We’re showing our patients, our colleagues, and the next generation of NPs that it’s possible to care deeply for others without losing yourself in the process.
Let’s make a pact: to advocate for our health as fiercely as we do for our patients. Because when we thrive, the care we provide thrives too. And that’s the kind of healthcare system we should all be fighting for.
